Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The Jabberwocky

Dear Local Grocery Store,

I have a serious complaint about an employee at your store.

The night cashier at your store quite possibly gives the worst service I have ever seen. The thing about customer service is that one actually has to read their customers, realize what they want, and respond accordingly.

Maybe I'm an anomaly in this day and age, but when I go to a grocery store, to pick up toilet paper, cat food, salt, and other random necessities, I want to get my shit and leave. I want to pay for it and go on about my life.  I don't want a cashier awkwardly commenting on my condom choice. Some people like that, I don't.

The other day, I almost shot her in the face.  I was in a long line, and she was the only cashier open.  After getting a woman with a $200 order through the line, she turned her attention to the guy directly in front of me, and proceeded to chitchat. She started on his clearance garlic bread, and then they moved on to his dinner plans, what his wife is doing, what his friends are doing... all the while, I was standing there, my feet aching from a long day at my job, and casting wistful looks at the self-checkout not ten yards away.  All I wanted was to buy my single roll of paper towels and scrub brush and go home, to rest and recuperate from another long day.

Rest was not to be had for awhile.  After she rung him up, I got to my spot in line, and she started chitchatting with the guy behind me. And then Mr. Clearance Garlic Bread decided that his garlic bread hadn't been cheap enough, and started kicking up a fuss after she scanned my paper towel roll. She stopped all operations and chitchat, and started reviewing his receipt... all while in the middle of my transaction. She told him, "I'll get you taken care of, hon..." and then turned back towards the register, and looked at my order, and looked at me.  She was within two seconds of asking me to wait, when I just glared. She decided to scan my scrub brush then, and asked for my rewards card. Since this isn't my first time in a store, I had already put it in, and if I was bitchy when I snapped that it was already in there, just total me up already, I apologize. I just could not handle two more seconds of the BEST DAMN CASHIER IN THIS WHOLE JOINT MAKING FRIENDS ALL OVER MY PAPER TOWELS.

Not every customer wants to be treated with customer service out the ass.  Some people just need a place to hand money. I'd shop online for things that I need right now if they'd instantly materialize on my doorstep, but since that hasn't happened yet, I am occasionally stuck patronizing your business.  Maybe you should consider letting a quiet customer continue her night unmolested.

Leave me alone,


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